Sunday, May 10, 2009

My Mantra

I Need To Miss You

Thinking about this day and all the thoughts of mothers and beautiful women in life, I keep thinking of my children. I can't help but think of how it all began. I always knew I wanted to be mother but did not plan on getting pregnant at 21, unmarried and scared to death. But what I got was an amazing husband to choose to grow up with me and a nearly perfect daughter whose name I picked out when I was 14. For anyone who knows Chloe I am being honest. She is perfect, almost AND She made me a mother. Because she was so amazing, I felt amazing for getting her on loan, so to speak.
But then the heartache began because my body could not get pregnant, for 6 and half years. Long, painfull years that I just now really understanding. But then I did get pregnant, with a beautiful son that I had a TON of patiance for because I had WAITED so long. Which worked out great, this little boy required a lot and I had a lot to give. And then I had a little girl. She looked like me and now I was on a roll. And then I had another girl. Second red head, I was really ready! But it hard having kids, 3 in 4 years, so I came up with my mantra. I NEED TO MISS YOU. This is said at naptime. At bedtime, at playtime. So I don't say I need to be away from you. Because 6 and half years was enough time to be away. No, I just need to miss them a little, To remember why I love them and like them.

Cole And Mama
Daddy, Cole, Mallory and Mia

And do you what? It works every time. Sometimes within minutes, sometimes it takes longer. But I always miss them, and remember that someday all too soon, I will miss them and they won't be right there. So now I am thinking as they get older, I don't need nap time to miss them, Just bedtime will do.


Br Boys said...

Very sweet....I know just what you mean. Happy Mother's day.

Chris said...

Well, out of 137 comments, you win for the absolute sweetest! Too bad you don't live closer, I could use a friend like you to boost my confidence! :) Thank you for stopping by!

eden and david said...

sooo sweet. your not supposed to make other people tear up :) happy mothers day.

Jamie said...

Why is it that I often get teary-eyed when reading your blog?! Love this post, Julie! You are a fantastic mom! Happy Mom's Day! Sure do miss you!