My Mantra

I Need To Miss You

Chloe

Thinking about this day and all the thoughts of mothers and beautiful women in life, I keep thinking of my children. I can't help but think of how it all began. I always knew I wanted to be mother but did not plan on getting pregnant at 21, unmarried and scared to death. But what I got was an amazing husband to choose to grow up with me and a nearly perfect daughter whose name I picked out when I was 14. For anyone who knows Chloe I am being honest. She is perfect, almost AND She made me a mother. Because she was so amazing, I felt amazing for getting her on loan, so to speak.
But then the heartache began because my body could not get pregnant, for 6 and half years. Long, painfull years that I just now really understanding. But then I did get pregnant, with a beautiful son that I had a TON of patiance for because I had WAITED so long. Which worked out great, this little boy required a lot and I had a lot to give. And then I had a little girl. She looked like me and now I was on a roll. And then I had another girl. Second red head, I was really ready! But it hard having kids, 3 in 4 years, so I came up with my mantra. I NEED TO MISS YOU. This is said at naptime. At bedtime, at playtime. So I don't say I need to be away from you. Because 6 and half years was enough time to be away. No, I just need to miss them a little, To remember why I love them and like them.

Cole And Mama

Mallory
Daddy, Cole, Mallory and Mia

And do you what? It works every time. Sometimes within minutes, sometimes it takes longer. But I always miss them, and remember that someday all too soon, I will miss them and they won't be right there. So now I am thinking as they get older, I don't need nap time to miss them, Just bedtime will do.